I have been discussing ‘love’ with one of my friends for the past many days! Amazed? Well actually I am not the kinda person to even think of Love, but this other chap is . . and I enjoy discussing the subject with him. Probably my only experience of love is my love towards my family and my friends . . never loved a girl (even if I did, I am not sure of it).
Anyway, the issue in this post isn’t whether I loved or he loved or anyone loved, its about the definition of love. Is love a one-sided feeling? Or does it have to be mutual? And even if it is mutual, does it have to be tied in the nuptial relationship? And does love require compatibility? If there seems to be a mismatch, should the relationship end? Reversing, if there seems to be a mismatch, should the relationship start at all (opposites attract!)? We debated on all these questions . . .
I don’t think we still have any answers, but some things came out. Love may or may not be a one sided affair, but it is unconditional. Love has to be selfless. If I love someone I should not expect anything in response to my work for her. Or rather, even if I expect, if my expectation is not fulfilled – I should not feel bad about it. Well that seems like the ‘love’ version of ‘karmanye vaadhikaraste’ isn’t it? Whenever a relationship is based on expectations it may break, if the partners are hell-bent on fulfilment of expectations. This demands that there are no preconditions in love.
Another issue is confidence. Firstly both partners need to have confidence in each other and both should try never to keep anything secret. And if you feel something is being kept secret, even then the test of your confidence is your ability to believe that there are no secrets and your ability to restrain from asking questions. Unnecessary questions destroy relationships because they represent a break of confidence.
Well suppose that’s quite a lot – gotta get back to studies. . . after all I start my last academic exam in 2 days from now !!
Anyway, the issue in this post isn’t whether I loved or he loved or anyone loved, its about the definition of love. Is love a one-sided feeling? Or does it have to be mutual? And even if it is mutual, does it have to be tied in the nuptial relationship? And does love require compatibility? If there seems to be a mismatch, should the relationship end? Reversing, if there seems to be a mismatch, should the relationship start at all (opposites attract!)? We debated on all these questions . . .
I don’t think we still have any answers, but some things came out. Love may or may not be a one sided affair, but it is unconditional. Love has to be selfless. If I love someone I should not expect anything in response to my work for her. Or rather, even if I expect, if my expectation is not fulfilled – I should not feel bad about it. Well that seems like the ‘love’ version of ‘karmanye vaadhikaraste’ isn’t it? Whenever a relationship is based on expectations it may break, if the partners are hell-bent on fulfilment of expectations. This demands that there are no preconditions in love.
Another issue is confidence. Firstly both partners need to have confidence in each other and both should try never to keep anything secret. And if you feel something is being kept secret, even then the test of your confidence is your ability to believe that there are no secrets and your ability to restrain from asking questions. Unnecessary questions destroy relationships because they represent a break of confidence.
Well suppose that’s quite a lot – gotta get back to studies. . . after all I start my last academic exam in 2 days from now !!
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